You know who I would give my life for? Michelle Obama. She is a queen, and if you haven't picked up her book, Becoming, yet - you should. [5/5]
Can we start with the cover? Let’s. She looks so good, windswept and gorgeous, wearing a flirty off-the-shoulder sweater and the most refreshing smile. It's the first lady like you've never seen her, and the pages within are similarly revealing. She is just as eloquent and inspiring as you'd imagine, but the details of her upbringing, her family, even the struggles in her marriage are the piping hot cup of tea that you've been waiting for.
If you're like me and you're looking for something with more substance than your typical celebrity memoir, I want you to read the book - it's rich, dense, and by the time you finish it you'll feel like you know Michelle intimately. She doesn't just write about fluffy anecdotes, she tells you her life's story - from being a young girl growing up on the South Side of Chicago to right now, settling into life post-White Office, her children grown up and forging a new path all her own. But if you're not quite persuaded to shell out the money for a hard cover copy just yet, let me share some of the moments or insights from the book that resonated most deeply with me:
1. We should be rigorous about our friendships.
If Michelle Obama can make time for her girlfriends, so can you. She talks about how every year she'd get 12 or so of her closest friends together at Camp David for "Boot Camp". They'd work out, cook and eat healthy meals together, and talk. She acknowledges that carving out a weekend for this is definitely a commitment - these are all high-power, high-profile women with busy schedules and families that need them - but that's the point. Friendship is a commitment. Unless you are fortunate enough to live in a city with all your best friends and can see each other regularly with little effort, odds are high that you have to make a concerted effort to check in with your loved ones. Sometimes that means staying up past your bedtime to talk on the phone with a friend on the West Coast. Or putting down a little cash to visit someone in their new city. But going the extra mile for these people, who comprise your support network and are your biggest cheerleaders, is well worth it. I wax endlessly on this topic with my friends, so hearing it from the mouth of the FLOTUS herself was very gratifying. Saturday's are for the girls.
2. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship.
The Obama's are goals, no doubt about it. We've all seen Barack serenade Michelle with a touching rendition of Al Green's Let's Stay Together. Or the by-now famous picture of them on the campaign trail in 2007, sitting in a sun-faded booth in a diner and leaning against each other as they rested their eyes. But it was immensely refreshing to hear her recount their experiences getting couples counseling, and being completely candid about the toll his political career had on her own career, their children, and their marriage. She affirmed that you can be very in love and devoted to the marriage, but every relationship still needs a daily renewal of commitment and hard work.
3. People perform better when they feel like they are being invested in.
In the book, Michelle describes how she, along with other powerful ladies like Jill Biden and Valerie Jarrett, would meet with a group of young women in the D.C. area that were nominated by their high school principals for mentorship. She also mentions a social worker at a school who shouts out her love and appreciation for the students, who are often from underprivileged families and neighborhoods - telling them "I see you trying hard!" Finally, she shares the fact that an economist put out a study that looked at the test performances of students at an inner-city, 90% minority school in England that she connected with, and found that their overall scores jumped significantly - the equivalent of moving from a C average to an A.
While her anecdotes are mostly about young women or children, I can't help but reflect on how much this applies to people of all ages. Whether you're 4 or 45, knowing that you're valued, and feeling like you're both seen and heard, is intensely uplifting. It certainly motivated me, while I'm only 23 and have a fraction of the resources she has to empower people on a large scale, to make sure that the young people that I'm peers with or look to me for guidance know that I see them, and I'm glad they're here. In an age where things are meant to look effortless, where trying isn't cool - the importance of this message was definitely not lost on me.
4. The White House was a more inclusive place when Obama was president.
The Obama's made an indelible mark on history and on the White House. Michelle recounts introducing the first African American art to be hung in the White House, encouraging the butlers to drop their pressed white tuxedos for golf shirts on days where there were no public events, making sure that housekeeping knew that Malia and Sasha would be making their own beds, and inviting all manner of artists and children to the White House... the list goes on. Their efforts to make the White House more approachable, human, and inclusive are truly inspiring. They reminded us that there are a real family in the White House, working on behalf of real families across the country.
Okay I'm stopping here. You'll have to read the book to find out more. I hope I've convinced you that it's worth your monies, or at least worth getting used on Amazon or acquiring paperback when it comes out. It's a terrific addition to your bookshelf, a thoughtful gift, and makes for great conversational material. It's also a true pleasure to read, she is cerebral but down to earth, and her warm tenor carries throughout the book. Pick it up today? Yes you can!
What were your greatest takeaways from Becoming?
How to lift each other up? How to get really toned arms? How to act with unparalleled grace in the face of public backlash and horribly offensive trolls? How to pivot in your career - not once, not twice, but three times? How to start your own community garden? How to be true to your roots? How to be a down-to-Mars gal when you’re one of the most powerful women on Earth?